For Entertainment Purposes Only

Did I miss any good ones?

Tue, 12 Jul 2011 18:33:05 -0700

Did I miss any good ones?

I await this album.

Tue, 05 Jul 2011 11:58:31 -0700

I await this album.

You thought Djokovic was the underdog?

Sun, 03 Jul 2011 16:59:48 -0700

You thought Djokovic was the underdog?

The Princess Groom.

Sun, 03 Jul 2011 11:13:57 -0700

The Princess Groom.

Glass/Gross

Mon, 13 Jun 2011 12:32:00 -0700

Glass/Gross

Leonard B. Stern, producer of “Get Smart” and creator of “Mad...

Thu, 09 Jun 2011 16:43:00 -0700

Leonard B. Stern, producer of “Get Smart” and creator of “Mad Libs”, passed away June 7, 2011. I was fortunately able to get hold of an advance copy of his NYTimes obituary.

C. Cardenas

This (is not) American Life did a podcast on my poem, Sarah...

Thu, 09 Jun 2011 11:54:13 -0700

This (is not) American Life did a podcast on my poem, Sarah Palin’s Ride!

The most inefficient way to shave a beard.

Tue, 07 Jun 2011 22:14:23 -0700

The most inefficient way to shave a beard.

Sarah Palin's Ride

Tue, 07 Jun 2011 19:01:00 -0700

Listen my children and you shall hear
Of Palin’s version of Paul Revere;
On the Second of June, Two Thousand Eleven,
A fact emerged from Humor heaven:
“Revere was warning the British”? Oh Dear!

She travels the country in a tour bus,
Spotlight to spotlight, refusing to shelve;
Hoping the media will want to discuss,
A potential prez bid in Two Thousand Twelve
But Palin is wrong about so much,
Is that what gives her that common touch?
She claims to have the promise to lead
But doesn’t know which newspapers she reads;
If Palin were a band, she would be Creed.

When giving a speech, she’ll have notes on hand,
Literally, plus look at her command
Of the English language, isn’t it great?
We have her to thank for refudiate.
She wants to be allies with North Korea,
Thinks Familigia’s is a real pizzeria,
Greater than Bush in verbal diarrhea.
Oppose her and you’re liberal elite
She’ll hunt you, and eat you like moose meat.

Palin asserts the media’s lamestream,
Making her look bad is part of their scheme.
In truth, she’s a source of eternal wisdom,
If you don’t resort to “Gotcha Journalism”
Ask her tough questions like “What did you see?”
And before you can gasp, she’s changed history!
Revere’s ringing bells, warning the British
To take arms for the impending “squirmish.”

But the worst part is, when she gets caught,
Admit it, she won’t, for fear that she’ll rot
The public perception that she’s qualified.
Please, Sarah Palin, get over your pride.

But she does have some tricks up her red sleeve,
For instance, Palin can masterfully weave
a sentence with bible, followed by one with “blood libel”
as easily as Bristol can conceive.

Oh Palin, my Palin, you’ve gotta relax!
You’re not under attack, You’re under a tax.
Scrutiny’s imposed because you’re on TV,
It’s the price you pay for being a celebrity.

I find myself asking, is she for real?
Oh, “You Betcha!” But what is the appeal?
Maybe she isn’t really that dense.
After all, she does have executive experience.
She plays the flute, and knows how to tweet,
Can see Russia from her house, that’s kind of neat.
But if choosing who to lead us into the fray,
I wouldn’t choose Palin, I’d choose Tina Fey.

Alas, we draw close to the bitter end,
Give this a chuckle, then send to a friend.
And remember, this poem is nothing but art.
Ms. Palin, some advice before we depart,
If you want to be taken seriously

READ A FUCKING BOOK!!

In response to her gaffe on Paul Revere’s historic...

Tue, 07 Jun 2011 18:54:00 -0700

Sarah Palin's Ride - Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

In response to her gaffe on Paul Revere’s historic midnight ride, here is an ode to Ms. Sarah Palin. May the gaffes/material keep coming.

C. Cardenas

P.S. I will upload text and audio version of poem soon!

BEARD OF THE WEEK: Wyatt Cenac. The bearded comedian of The...

Tue, 12 Apr 2011 09:19:00 -0700

BEARD OF THE WEEK:

Wyatt Cenac. The bearded comedian of The Daily Show.

Beard-zilla!

BEARD OF THE WEEK: Jack Shepard. Because when you’ve...

Wed, 06 Apr 2011 12:17:00 -0700

BEARD OF THE WEEK:

Jack Shepard. Because when you’ve become a depressed, pill-popping, world-famous survivor, the only thing left to do is grow an awesome beard.

BEARD OF THE WEEK: Hipster Jesus Christ. Visiting him is the new...

Tue, 29 Mar 2011 19:57:00 -0700

BEARD OF THE WEEK:

Hipster Jesus Christ. Visiting him is the new thing to do on Sundays. If only the church choir would sing Arcade Fire.

Source: http://churchcreate.com/hipster-indie-jesus-and-6-other-creative-stereotypes/

"Want the hipster-chic of veganism without all the hard work? Go gluten-free."

Sat, 26 Mar 2011 09:16:00 -0700

“Want the hipster-chic of veganism without all the hard work? Go gluten-free.”

BEARD OF THE WEEK: Paul Krugman. Op-Ed columnist for the New...

Wed, 23 Mar 2011 08:47:00 -0700

BEARD OF THE WEEK:

Paul Krugman. Op-Ed columnist for the New York Times. Come for the discussion on World Economics. Stay for that glorious salt-and-pepper beard.

BEARD OF THE WEEK: I don’t know if you need magic to grow...

Fri, 18 Mar 2011 09:37:00 -0700

BEARD OF THE WEEK:

I don’t know if you need magic to grow a beard like this, but goddamn, that’s an intense beard. Love it!

BEARD OF THE WEEK: If I had the motivation to be creative, I...

Wed, 09 Mar 2011 14:57:00 -0800

BEARD OF THE WEEK:

If I had the motivation to be creative, I would come up with a Top Ten about David Letterman’s Beard. Instead, I’ll just say that this was the best thing to come out of the 2007-2008 Writer’s Strike.

BEARD OF THE WEEK: George Clooney in Syriana. Oscar-winning...

Fri, 04 Mar 2011 10:53:00 -0800

BEARD OF THE WEEK:

George Clooney in Syriana. Oscar-winning beard.

BEARD OF THE WEEK: James Harden, Guard/Hipster for the Oklahoma...

Wed, 16 Feb 2011 14:44:00 -0800

BEARD OF THE WEEK:

James Harden, Guard/Hipster for the Oklahoma City Thunder.

I defy you to name a couple that is more hipster than Zooey...

Fri, 11 Feb 2011 15:51:00 -0800

I defy you to name a couple that is more hipster than Zooey Deschanel and Ben Gibbard.